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WHAT IS BONDAGE and SM

This page is not for the professionals who use bondage as part of their work with their clients. For the person who wishes to go deeper into Bondage and SM I suggest that you start with the page Safe Word which is essential reading for anybody interested in Spanking,Bondage and SM.

The REAL Bondage exploration and information pages start with Chapter 1

Although I have been a spanker for many years it is only comparatively recently that I have used bondage as I found that for many ladies who came regularily for erotic spanking once they removed all, or most, of their clothes, and with it their inhibitions, often wanted to explore and experience everything that I could suggest short of sex - which is not an option I offer.

Let me state immediately that BONDAGE is something which can only happen when there is complete TRUST between the partners. It also demands a. SAFE WORDFor those who do not know this word it is the special word which every spanker offers every spankee and immediately stops any further action. To find more go to the page SAFE WORD where it explained fully

I will not comment more on this here as for me personally bondage is only introduced after a lady has been on several visits and we have built up a good, and trusting, mutual relationship

csne sideviewMy first venture came as I found that regular erotic spanking visitors challenged themselves to go farther than just lying across my lap and being spanked as their clothes were removed. The first stages were the usual handspanking across the lap, as shown in my picture, with the lady gradually being undressed until she is finally naked across my lap. One of my first lady visitors commented that when she came she had no idea that she would finish up naked but she had enjoyed every minute. She also discovered that an HOUR had passed! At this point nearly all had handed their body over to me and, with their legs parting either involuntarily, or though choice.

As I said above she had lost any inhibitions and was willing to trust me to ensure she had an erotic experience. By the third or fourth visit ladies frequently wanted MORE!

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I started by introducing legspreader the leg-spreaders. This is a metal rod about 21 inches long with straps for the ankles at each end. Once attached this allows the lady no flexibility in controlling her bum and forces her to keep her legs well spread. Now she is vulnerable!

I bent her over the back of a chair and, using rope or straps fastened her wrists to the seat. She was now completely under my control.

This created an erotic charge in the subject as she had now handed her body over to me without any opportunity of stopping me (except the' safe' word) and meant that any sexual 'play' was completely under my control. However remember that at anytime if she had used her 'SAFEWORD' I would have stopped immediately! That is what trust is all about.

I stood behind her so that she could not see me and then began began by stroking and massaging her bottom. This was already red from the earlier handspanking and the lady was very receptive to this treatment. I started spanking with my hand while at the same time parting her bum cheeks and running my fingers up and down the bum crack.. I soon touched her pussy and always received a positive reaction as I gently rubbed the wet warmth of the vaginal lips. More hand spanking aroused her more and now it was time to test the bottom farther. I took up a lightweight strap and, sataning at her side broght it down "S P L A T T ! !"across both cheeks. Usually there was a gasp of breath but no protest..

"S P L A T T ! !", S P L A T T ! !" I continued this for several minutes playing and spanking. all the time making sure that the strap, and my fingers, found their target. This was usually enough to bring her to a climax and trigger an orgasm.

This was as far as I would go on the first session because by now I knew that the lady was receptive to me and would return home thinking about what had happened and how the 'pleasure and pain' had mixed so brilliantly. She was now preparing in her own mind when she could next visit!



I have asked one of my spanking partners who enjoys bondage to comment on what I have written and her are her thoughts

My Thoughts by Mary
I've read the bondage pages on the website and agree with what you say. The pleasure and pain as you describe it is one that works for many ladies who try it. Of course there are differences in taste. Some might like a littler harsher treatment and others a very soft one. This is to be found out by each couple.
There are many ways to talk about the subject.
There are some thoughts I have when I read your pages about erotic bondage .....for example.
The mind reacts to the bondage.
If the lady discovers she doesn't like bondage she might panic. If she enjoys it and feels safe it will enhance her excitement immediately.
She will love to give up control , to be dominated by her partner and to be at his mercy as she trusts him and knows there won't be any harm.
Normally she might struggle with herself about right or wrong, about what she allows herself to feel but without being able to move she has no other choice than give in to the sensations she will be offered - give in to both, pleasure and pain.
Her partner in return will chose the appropriate instruments and be so careful as to give her what she needs. He has to keep his own needs and his strength under control.
I could keep talking as I have never the feeling that my words say exactly what I mean.




The What is Bondage Chapter leads on to the Exploration of Bondage and SM in Bondage Erotic Play

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